Defeat in the Derelict
I received my gun from Terrik during lunch. I hastily stowed it in my jacket. But, even after hiding it, I repeatedly ran my fingers across it. I wasn’t a gun enthusiast as, to me, it was a tool, nothing more. Still, I was glad to have it back. The overseers had taken it from me except when I was to work for them. Now, I would be able to turn my weapon on the overseers, on the Autocrat.
After that, lunch ended without event. I, along with Flint, was escorted to our rooms. There would be no work today; the Autocrat was coming.
I sat on my bed, my weapon stowed within my shirt.
“Amy, what is that?” Flint asked in a tone somehow both tentative and forceful.
There wasn’t any point in concealing it. “It’s my blaster.”
“How would you get that? You know you aren’t allowed to have it.”
“But Flint-“
“Dominentur has given us a safe place. They feed us and give us a roof over our heads. Are you ungrateful?”
“Well-“
“Please. Don’t do this. We have a place here, don’t ruin it. Don’t do anything stupid.”
“Flint, what is going on with you? You know what it’s like out there. Every day, we’re out there, on the front lines. You even got a scar while working as a serf. And, you’ve been so distant lately. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
“I’m afraid. I got scars while working here. But I also got one form of that monster in the lake. Remember when we first entered the Derelict? That encounter shook me. If we fight, we’ll probably lose; if we run, we’ll probably die. I don’t want to die. Please,” There was pain in his voice, “even though we both hate this place, please stay here, for me?”
I didn’t know what to say. A few tears running down his face, Flint turned his back, leaving me to ponder my actions.
But really, there wasn’t much pondering to be done. I had made my choice. So, I whispered my regrets, my apologies as I left the next morning for breakfast even though I knew that Flint wouldn’t be able to hear. That was for the best. I didn’t want to break his heart.
Flint went to the mess hall, and I made up a hasty excuse about going to the bathroom. I put on multiple coats to disguise the weapon that I was concealing. Then I walked downstairs, doing my very best to ‘act naturally.’
Jen nodded my way as the overseers funneled us into the mess hall. There was a look of grim determination in her eyes. I felt similarly grim, unsure of what would happen between Flint and myself after all was well and done.
Now, all of us were in the mess room. And we were prepared. Then, some of the overseers wheeled out an old TV. I glanced over to Jen, who looked startled and taken aback. I had never seen that TV before. The situation was a new and unwanted development, one that did not bode well.
The TV clicked on.
A man that I assumed to be the Autocrat appeared on the old television. After, all I’d never seen him. My assumption was confirmed when the man began to speak.
“Hello, citizens and denizens of Dominentur. As your leader, I would love nothing more than to see you in person. However, certain events won’t allow me to do that just yet.” Here his face darken.
“Still, no matter. We will think of such things later. I have come to express my pleasure. I am so proud of how all you little serfs have been working. Such busy bees you all are.” Here he laughed, and we all stopped and stared. Even Flint stared in disbelief. How could the Autocraft be so patronizing?
“We’ve expanded, creating a safer Dominentur. So, soon those of you who have been in the position of servitude for two years will become overseers yourselves, those that survive at any rate. Still, I believe in you guys. You’ve done well. So I don’t doubt that any of you will make it. And I won’t accept any excuses for shirking your duty. I gave the overseers additional forms of encouragement. They’re especially needed given some recent information I’ve received.”
Then the Autocrat’s face hardened, and he gingerly picked up a knife- a rusty knife. I recognized it. “Some of you have stolen and hoarded weapons.”
The Autocrat’s voice rose. “Some of you have planned an assassination.”
The voice rose still louder until it seemed to fill my head. “Guards still search them.”
Suddenly, all of us were grabbed and held in place. Coats were taken off, and bags were searched. They found all the weapons. But I didn’t remember that. What I remembered was staring at Flint’s face as a dawning horror reached across it. He stared at me, simultaneously both betrayer and betrayed. I didn’t know what to say to him as they took my blaster.
We were all locked up, those of us who planned the assassination. I hadn’t seen Flint since he stared at me with horror as I was lead away. All I could do was sit- and reflect.
Then: footsteps. Flint! And tears: streaming down his face.
“Flin-” But I was cut off.
“Amy, I’m sorry. I told you not to- I thought you wouldn’t. Then, to keep us safe-” He was rambling.
I tried again. “Flint-” But, there wasn’t anything I could say to him. “Are you mad at me?” My words rang hollow, and we both knew it.
As a response, Flint let loose a peel of nervous laughter. It seemed harsh, and cold, and just a bit hysterical. “I should be asking you that question. But, to answer you, I don’t know. I- I just wish you would have stopped and listened to me. We could have been safe.” It almost sounded as if he was pleading with me, asking me to change my previous decisions. Though, we both knew it was futile.
But Flint continued. “I talked to the Autocrat. He listened to me a bit because I was the one who tipped him of.” He looked down, examining his shoes.
“Though, I guess you knew that. And, I’m sorry, I guess. If I hadn’t tipped him off, you guys might have made Dominentur better. At the very least, they wouldn’t have locked you up.” Flint looked conflicted, agony spreading across his face.
“Anyway, you guys each have to be serfs for an extra two years. I know everyone will hate me, I’m the traitor. I could probably bear it if you were with me, but my cowardice cost you too. So, yeah, I am sorry. And I don’t know what will happen next, between us, in general.”
I stayed silent, for what could I say? But, in my heart, I wasn’t sure if I would forgive him. Or if things could ever be the same between us.
